The Truth About Pushing: 10 Things Every Pregnant Woman Should Know

​If you’ve ever watched a birth scene in a movie, you’d think pushing is just one big dramatic moment—cue the doctor yelling, “You’re 10cm, now PUSH!” while the mother strains with all her might.


But birth isn’t a movie, and pushing is so much more than that.

I’ve supported countless women as a Hypnobirthing educator and doula, and I can tell you that understanding how this stage of labor really works can completely transform your experience. How you push, when you push, and the support you have can all make a huge difference—not just in how long it takes, but in how you feel afterward.

Here are 10 things I wish every pregnant woman knew about pushing.


1. Just Because You’re 10cm Doesn’t Mean You Have to Push

Hitting 10cm doesn’t automatically mean it’s time to push. Your cervix is open, but that doesn’t mean your body is ready. If you start pushing too early—before you feel the natural urge—you could exhaust yourself before your body is even ready to birth your baby.

Waiting for your body’s fetal ejection reflex (which is exactly what it sounds like—your body pushing your baby out on its own) allows you to work with your uterus instead of forcing it. When the time is right, your contractions will naturally help move your baby down.

This is where breathing techniques can be a game-changer. In my birth courses, I teach a specific breath that helps your body birth your baby efficiently, gently, and with less strain. Many women who use this approach have shorter pushing phases and reduced tearing.


2. That “Poop” Feeling? That’s Your Body’s Signal

It might sound strange, but toward the end of labor, many women suddenly feel like they need to have a bowel movement. That’s because your baby is pressing down on the same nerves that trigger that sensation.

Here’s the important part—don’t panic and start pushing with all your might just because you feel it. Breathe through the feeling and allow your body to do its job. When it’s truly time, pushing can be uncontrollable—like vomiting, but from your vagina.

I walk through the exact moment-to-moment experience of this in my courses so that when this sensation comes, you’ll understand exactly what’s happening and know what to do.


3. Pushing Can Take Minutes or Hours—Every Birth Is Different

Some women push for minutes, while others push for hours—and neither is right or wrong. There is no “normal” when it comes to pushing time.

The key is to stay patient, follow your body, and use movement and breathing to help things progress. Some women benefit from switching positions, and others find that a bit of extra time allows their perineum to stretch slowly, reducing the risk of tearing.

This is why having a birth partner who understands this phase is crucial. They can encourage you when it’s taking longer than expected, remind you to change positions if needed, and advocate for your preferences.


4. Pushing Can Actually Feel Amazing

Yes, really.

Many women describe the pushing stage as a huge relief—like finally releasing built-up pressure after being constipated for days (and let’s be honest, we’ve all been there). After working so hard during labor, being able to actively push and feel progress can be incredibly satisfying.

Some women find that using a mirror during pushing is extremely motivating. Seeing their baby’s head emerging gives them that extra boost of energy to keep going.


5. There’s No “Perfect” Pushing Position—Only What Works for You

One of the biggest myths about birth is that you have to push while lying on your back. While this position is often convenient for hospital staff, it’s not always the best for you.

Positions like hands and knees, side-lying, squatting, or even standing can help open the pelvis and allow gravity to assist. Even during crowning, you can move into a different position if something doesn’t feel right. You are not stuck in one spot.


6. Breathing, Not Forceful Pushing, Is Key

Holding your breath and pushing with all your might (often called purple pushing) is what we see in movies, but research shows it’s not the most effective or safest approach.

Breathing your baby down keeps oxygen flowing to both you and your baby, reduces pelvic floor trauma, and often shortens the pushing phase because your body is working with you rather than being forced into it.

This is one of the most important things I teach in my courses because it makes such a difference in how this stage feels.


7. The “Ring of Fire” Doesn’t Last Forever—And Your Body Helps You Through It

Crowning—the moment when your baby’s head is stretching the vaginal opening—can feel intense, often referred to as the ring of fire. But here’s what most people don’t know:

Your body actually numbs itself.

As the perineum stretches, the nerve endings become compressed, reducing sensation. This is why going slow at this stage is key. Slower crowning = less chance of tearing and a smoother transition for your baby.

Birth partners, this is when your support is everything. Helping with breathing, visualization, or gentle distractions can make this moment feel much more manageable.


8. Episiotomies Aren’t Routine Anymore—And Tearing Often Heals Better

It used to be common practice to perform an episiotomy (a surgical cut to widen the vaginal opening), but research has shown that natural tears heal better than episiotomies in most cases.

Your perineum is designed to stretch, and if it does need to tear, it usually does so in a way that heals more easily. If an episiotomy is suggested, you can ask questions, get a second opinion, and make sure it’s truly necessary.


9. Your Placenta Birth Needs Planning, Too

After your baby is born, contractions will continue—but this time, they’re helping you deliver your placenta.

So many people prepare for labor and pushing but don’t think about this stage—even though complications like retained placenta or excessive bleeding can occur.

Just like you create a birth plan for your baby, you should also create a birth plan for your placenta. Knowing your options (delayed cord clamping, physiological vs. managed third stage, etc.) can help you feel in control of this final phase of birth.


10. Birth Partners Play a HUGE Role in This Stage

If your birth partner doesn’t know what’s happening, they might feel helpless. This is why education matters. A well-prepared partner can:
    •    Remind you to breathe effectively
    •    Offer water and support your position changes
    •    Advocate for your preferences
    •    Provide words of encouragement when you need them most

Attending a full birth course together is one of the best ways to make sure you BOTH feel prepared.


Want to Feel Confident and In Control for Birth?


The best way to eliminate fear and feel truly ready for birth is through education.


In my Hypnobirthing & birth education courses, I cover everything from:
✔️ The most effective ways to push and breathe
✔️ How to create a birth plan that actually supports you
✔️ How your birth partner can be the best support possible


Join my in-person two-day course or grab my mini online self-paced course and let’s make sure you feel empowered, informed, and excited for birth.

Your birth. Your choices. Let’s make sure you feel ready.

Book your spot in the full course today!!

Book HERE

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Not in Brisbane, or can’t attend a full course. Don’t worry I have you covered. Grab my online birth course that you can do self-paced in the comfort of your own home. Although I would highly recommend the full course (Email me to book and online session if you’re not in Brisbane, Australia) I know that may not be an option for everyone so I have designed and filmed this incredible online course to help prepare you birth birth. I want birth preparation to be accessible for everyone! Because it really does make a difference. 

​Grab your online course below! 

Buy HERE

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If you have any questions please email me at [email protected]